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The Long Goodbye

by MORTARS

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1.
the first thing that happens when things fall apart i think in terms of the world, it's all vacant and stark and in the time that i have, forget to recall that all i know is i don't know nothing at all and this infinite sadness could be just as passing as that perfect day, nothing's everlasting but to hold it all in without collapsing takes a whole lot more than i have to distract me so i'll cling to what's left of these torn up pages was there something i said that could help to assuage? from this ache in my head, this pain in my heart and when i thought it was over, i'm back at the start and now this bottle has broken inside of my soul and the blood and the alcohol fight for control if i don't give it up, it'll tear me to shreds but if i'm numb when it kills me, i'm ok with death so i'll bleed it all out on this stage like a chump and hope you don't notice, i'm a little too drunk but i'm thankful for all of these nights and my friends i'll eventually put myself together again
2.
OK 01:52
oh my god we get drunk, and we stay drunk and we don't even care who has to clean that mess up we get loud if it feels right and we hold onto love just a little too tight for our own good cause the world is cold and the drinks and the drugs fill the urges but the love fills the soul ...or so we've been told OK and it gets bad on those long nights with the stale air and the neon lights but it gets worse on the next days when you're swollen and hurt and it won't go away til you go back to what's killing you in the first place OK what's the use? if cowgirls never get the blues then i'd trade in these old shoes for some cowboy boots, buy a nudie suit with some rhinestones, and some cocaine, and a new name and you will never see me again OK
3.
there ain't no money in this no more he says his dirty hands full of pocket change hey i don't know what i'm gonna do, when the next string breaks oh, but once there was a time, in the lights on the stage when the crowd sang along, every word when we played and i can still write them songs to make them smile through the pain oh, just between me and the page but you spent too many years trying and the dreamer's always dying if it woulda happened again, it woulda happened by now but hey, there's no use crying some things are just like lightning strikes you once upon a lifetime and i can write those words like a thunderstorm leaves you shaking in all its rage whoa, just between me and the page i wasn't always at home in a smoke filled bar that's where you tend to land when you fall from grace i held the bottle more than i held her and she just couldn't wait oh, but once there was a time we would dance in the rain we were young, wild, unbroken before we were tame and i could still write them songs like before all the chains whoa, just between me and the page but you spent too many years trying and the dreamer's always dying if it woulda happened again, it woulda happened by now but hey, there's no use crying but she was everything you wanted ever since then you've been haunted and you could write those lines just like that first night you fell in love and everything changed oh, just between me and the page but you spent too many years trying and the dreamer's always dying if it woulda happened again, it woulda happened by now but hey, there's no use crying some things are just like lightning strikes you once upon a lifetime and you could write those words like a thunderstorm leaves you shaking in all its rage whoa, just between me and the page
4.
abandon the ship or the zeros will tear us apart we'll be tossed overboard to tread water with circling sharks and shed your last tears for you family back home you'll be wrapped up and sent back with a flag draped over your bones they'll be shattered but if we make this stand we might see tomorrow and if we don't give in we'll at least die with honor if we refuse to surrender and fight til the death we'll hold back the onslaught, recharge and advance through mortars and shrapnel, machine guns and shells these war occupations oh god, is this hell? yeah, yeah they're gonna run us through for our optimism cause our history is a violent lesson the victors fill archives with their explanations defeated rebuild and then plan new invasions and humans will kill over slight variations repeated ad nauseam til annihilation with mortars and shrapnel, machine guns and tanks from nuclear weapons, to arrows and blades it's hell oh god, oh god this is hell
5.
Long Goodbye 02:20
family comes around, every now and then with their face in their phones, ask how you've been but that's a question with an answer you'd rather not give ah, but once you rained fire down that east coast shore with your 454, your green eyed girl thinking maybe, you really died after that last kiss change is in the mirror and it's looking back had some good years, but they go so fast and oh, all you're left with is the ghosts racing in the street on a saturday night music too loud and your hair just right and oh, who woulda thought you'd ever get old so it goes oh, it goes tried to stand up when the flag was raised and your brother, lowered into that grave with their hands on your elbows you were carrying all the weight and lord, it really hit you like them chicken pox how you'd play in the dirt and climb on the rocks and how you'd gladly take his place in the pinewood box change is in the mirror and it's looking back had some good years, but they go so fast and oh, all you're left with is the ghosts nothing lasts forever then you're out of time never really ready for that long goodbye and oh, who woulda thought you'd ever get old so it goes ah, it goes standing here looking down a long, dark hall it could be a disaster, a slip or a fall but you fell so hard back then what could it hurt once more?
6.
Make it Burn 02:54
7.
I'd grown so tired of being scared all the time so I poisoned my blood, I filled every line in this ragged old notebook that's stained with the beers, the stray fallen ashes, the hand prints and grime the midnight confessions and crossed out lines bout girls I had loved, in a town I despised how the dark turns to light, the light just subsides it's as old as the stars it's as cold as the ice. We hold in the smoke and we long for a time When the sun didn't burn us, the water was fine Where the angels and ghosts came alive in the night and the future was nothing but lies We hold back the tears and pretend we're alright Cause the world doesn't stop, we've done lost that fight With the scars from the years and the damage inside Oh goodnight, I'm goin' out like a light.
8.
when i met you i was awful and urgent over my head and drowning in current sun in your eyes like atomic test site i felt energy meltdown like three mile island green with envy and radiation took a turn for the worse there ain't no medication everything changed on that summer vacation well let me sink bury me at sea i was obsessed with atomic disasters and just fourteen i always fell in love with every pretty girl i'd see let these memories roll in the waves into sea foam green shoulda let me sink buried me at sea the aftermath of atomic disasters is all i'd be my heart exploded like fifty million tons of tnt i gave whatever is left to the waves and the sea foam green
9.
Battle Noise 01:34
i've been this weirdo, down and out, since i was just fifteen i'd ask a head shrinking doc, "is something wrong with me?" but i've been cursed with a knack for losing and a total lack of money makes it kinda hard to figure out a path to sanity and it's been ugly, and painful the staring, the hateful the hole in my head where my brain shoulda been well it must be the cause of my trouble i've been under attack and i think i'm gonna crack but i don't know how or when so back up off my steps right now and i'll begin to share these woes whoa oh oh oh oh oh i'm not alone whoa oh oh oh oh oh we'll stand as one united force against a billion black boots they'll hold our heads to the concrete but our souls are breaking loose their massive repressive or passive aggression we can't be the last of our kind we're left to haunt the streets we're the ghosts at all the feasts and we'll get lots of looks hell, we'll get lots of looks but nobody will listen when it's our turn to speak from the cradle we're labelled. don't trust in their fables, we're lost in oblivion. know that we're able. untested, at best, they'd see us arrested ...and out come the wolves ...and out come the wolves whoa oh oh oh oh oh i'm not alone whoa oh oh oh oh oh
10.
think about my time growing up on rocky top i was running wild in those tennessee hills well i could buy smokes at 12 years old on rocky top got arrhythmia from gas station pills oh and once i had a girl on rocky top they called her trash she called it goth well she carved my name into her arm until it scarred when we broke up, she couldn't get it off rocky top, you ain't always been good to me but that's reality you're just a hill old rocky top i'm just a nobody well my best friend in grade school he came from korea we had to learn fight just as kids and i don't regret those times we ran our mouths off but the times we got our asses kicked the mortal kombat arcade at the wal-mart in newport was our throne, and we were the kings but those inbred racists well they didn't like it when a korean beat them with a fatality rocky top, you ain't always been good to me but that's reality you're just some dirt and stone old rocky top but one day i'll be buried into thee so if i die take me home to tennessee
11.

credits

released June 7, 2019

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MORTARS Tennessee

The part of the lake where all the trash washes up, the driveway at the house show when the AC is broken and it is too hot to play inside, the basement where you have to watch what you step on and the air feels real heavy. That is where we shine.

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